Today I had lunch with 2 coworkers. It was interesting in that One was happily married for 20 some years, the other was just recently married, and I am soon to be married. The first, "C," had successfully navigated through several rough spots in the road. I was glad to see this, as I had feared that my career choice was not conducive to a healthy relationship with L. The second, "S," was starting to see some rough spots and was asking C for advice. I was listening in hoping to pick up pointers for what I am about to face and how to get through things with a marriage intact.
The issue of trust came up. S has been having a rough time with that lately. Well not him per say but rather his wife. She does not trust him since he is away from home for an extended period and she knows that there is a friend of his who is a girl. A hot one at that. And the trust is not there.
I trust L about as far as Joshua Jackson (which is to say a good long ways). I hope that she trusts me about as far as Lindsey Lohan (also a good long ways). I get the feeling ,however, that she trusts me about as far as the next warm body. I don't know why. I don't even know if that is how she feels. I am sure if I asked her that she would tell me that she trusts me to the end of the world. Is it my own insecurity that I am feeling then? I think not. How can I prove myself?
One thing I learned at lunch is that marriage will not prove my trust for her. At least, that is what I heard. I wish it would, but I am also willing to do what it takes beyond that.
I fear that there is nothing that I can do. That this is a battle for L alone. I hope she knows that I have her back and won't let her fall. I hope she knows that I think she is the most beautiful woman I know. Through and through.
3 comments:
sometimes women trust men but they don't trust other women. So, you might be a nice guy but I wouldn't trust Lindsey at all -- and sometimes nice guys can be suckered in by weasly women. So how to prove yourself? When you meet someone like Lindsey, mention your very hot wife (who you adore) in the first sentence.
And that is all fine and good when my beautiful, very hot wife is standing beside me to hear me say that. On the other hand, when I am away, when she can not be standing there as I meet all of those weasily coniving Lindsey's, will she trust me to do the right thing? What can build the trust level up? Action, of course, speaks louder that words, but I am at a loss of what to do to prove myself to her. In the end, it is not the other women that you are mistrusting. It is the guy that you need to trust the most.
I do trust you in the deep ventracles of my heart. I know you would not do anything to jeporadize this relationship because we've worked so hard to get where we are and because we are so good together. I wouldn't be marrying you if i thought there was anything about you that was untrustworthy.
xoxo
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