Beau

A while ago, I saw a clip from the tonight show with Johnny Carson featuring a poem written and read by Jimmy Stewart. I consider myself a decent story teller but I will never reach what this man can do. See for youself:



I wish that I had that the amount of talent that Jimmy Stewart's pinky finger contained.

Lunch Trust

Today I had lunch with 2 coworkers. It was interesting in that One was happily married for 20 some years, the other was just recently married, and I am soon to be married. The first, "C," had successfully navigated through several rough spots in the road. I was glad to see this, as I had feared that my career choice was not conducive to a healthy relationship with L. The second, "S," was starting to see some rough spots and was asking C for advice. I was listening in hoping to pick up pointers for what I am about to face and how to get through things with a marriage intact.
The issue of trust came up. S has been having a rough time with that lately. Well not him per say but rather his wife. She does not trust him since he is away from home for an extended period and she knows that there is a friend of his who is a girl. A hot one at that. And the trust is not there.
I trust L about as far as Joshua Jackson (which is to say a good long ways). I hope that she trusts me about as far as Lindsey Lohan (also a good long ways). I get the feeling ,however, that she trusts me about as far as the next warm body. I don't know why. I don't even know if that is how she feels. I am sure if I asked her that she would tell me that she trusts me to the end of the world. Is it my own insecurity that I am feeling then? I think not. How can I prove myself?
One thing I learned at lunch is that marriage will not prove my trust for her. At least, that is what I heard. I wish it would, but I am also willing to do what it takes beyond that.
I fear that there is nothing that I can do. That this is a battle for L alone. I hope she knows that I have her back and won't let her fall. I hope she knows that I think she is the most beautiful woman I know. Through and through.

Alone again

Sent L off today. We had a pretty good time. I ended up walking her into the airport and up to security. On the way home, She called to say that the plane may be stopping over in Tennessee for fuel. Sounds weird to me. L brightened every day that she was down here, and I look forward to coming home to her in October even more now.
On with life.

Bring on the wind.

Been a while...

Well, It has been a little while since I posted. It seems that having things to do at night, instead of sitting around looking at the computer, weakens my need to blog. That is not to say that I don't have fun things to talk about.

This weekend has been an action packed weekend. Friday night was photography class. L and I had discussed for a while that taking a photography class would be a fun thing to do. I did some searching a found a class at Crealde School of Arts that was one night, Friday, for 3 hours. Perfect. The class had the title of Nikon D200, so I figured that particular camera would be discussed, but the description made it sound to me like other things would be covered as well. Nope. Just that camera. L and I were the only ones in the class that did not bring a Nikon D200. L at one point mention that this situation was the type of thing that she had nightmares about. At least we were both wearing clothes and all of our teeth stayed in our mouthes. The class went until 10:00... without break. Strangely, I think we both kind of enjoyed it.

Yesterday, L and I got up early-ish for a weekend and drove down to Wekiwa Springs SP and rented a canoe so she and I could quietly commune with nature. Little did we know that a large youth group, and a turtle research group would be joining us. This entailed canoes suddenly swerving in front of us, canoes hitting snorkelers, people fishing in a 10 wide portion of the stream, kids blowing unendingly on whistles, and average tools being loud obnoxious idiots on the water. On the bright side, I think that this brought into focus for L how getting away from people into the quiet parts could be a good thing. We did manage to paddle up a tributary and were able to get with several feet of a wading bird. We also had a turtle swim with us for a bit. Both of these were high points.

Last night, L and I went to see Stardust. It was not what we expected but hilariously better. It reminded me of Princess Bride in its amusing quirkiness. Robert De Niro is highly amusing.

For a while now I have wanted to put together a post of things I would like to get for M or her siblings as they grow older. I am not sure what fueled this idea. Some ideas come from my rivalry with AH and my desire to cause havoc in her household:
Police whistle
Bird whistle
Train whistle
Drum set
Clicker
Super Bouncy Balls
a Puppy

Other ideas may be stemming from my passion of electronics and mechanics, or perhaps they are things that I wished I had had, but can no longer justify buying for myself. If I get them for M then I will of course have to show her how to play with them:

Legos Mind Storms
Erector Set
Electronics Lab
Chemistry Set
How to make Napalm (maybe not this one)
Sea-Monkeys

Frisbee

Football

You get the idea. I intend to be the awesomest uncle ever. Even better than Uncle Mike.

Potter

L is interested in Harry Potter. I am thinking of getting her a cape and some round glasses so she can run around and try levitating objects after waving a pencil around. On the other hand, dressing her up like Hermione...

Later folks.

Today, I am sad.

Why am I sad? It was only a camera. Yes, it was a gift. Yes, I enjoyed using it immensely. Yes, it is gone now or at least less workable than it once was. But I think I should be angry over this and not sad. For some reason, I can't make myself feel mad.

I want to, I really do.
Especially since I had visions of the the camera getting wet as soon as she waded knee deep into the water with it. I think I should be mad. I was terribly dissapointed when I first realized it happened, but not mad.

After it happened, she went to the car to drop off the camera at my request. When she didn't come back after several minutes, I went to go check on her. As I approached the car, I could see her sitting it the back seat. At that point, I already knew she had tried turning it on. Again, I should be mad, frustrated, upset, irritated, angry, or something. But no. I pity her, because I know she is torturing herself over this. Both mentally and physically. I get to the car and it is roasting in the hot sun. She is covered in sweat beading through her sunscreen. I plead with her to just put the camera down and come out of the overheated car.

Once we are home she mentions giving me money from her savings. I don't want her money. I don't want her beating herself up over a mistake. I should just move on, so she can follow my lead, but I can't. I am sad. I am sad and I don't quite know why. It is not just the camera. I am sad for her.

Pics from before the wave. L took a number of these shots.
Beautyberries:

Some interesting tree growth:
L and her love of the dirtiest bird on the coast.
Ponce Inlet Lighthouse.
Getting ready to climb the 203 steps.
Neat windows in the ceiling at the top of the lighthouse.
A view from the top.
A different type of view from the top. About here is where I learned about L's dramatic fear of heights.
We did it! A victory view on the way out.
Daytona Beach
People to the south
People to the north.
And that is it.

Work starts in 6-7 hours, perhaps I should go to bed. Tomorrow (today) the boss is getting back from 2 weeks of vacation. I hope he is happy with the work I have been doing. I will also try again to fix the camera.

Pics

Here are some more pics from L's camera

Needed

It feels good to be needed. I like my current job. They need me.

I had a co-worker tell me today that it would "be in your best interest" to play golf with people at work. That is when I quizzed him about what my best interests were, since he was so knowledgable about them. He response was surprisingly not "moving up the corporate ladder." If it had been, I would have laughed in his face. Instead it was something equally as destable to me... job security. "In the slow times, they might look over you to someone who will be able to make their foursome on the course." I am sorry. I don't want a job if there is no work to do. If there is no work, I don't feel productive, and I am not a happy person. To me, work is something that is important for me to enjoy. I spend around half of my waking hours doing it. To do it simply for the check at the end of the week would be to throw half of my life away. I would rather have less "toys" in my house and enjoy more of my life.

One concern that off-sets this is that now, it is not just my toys that are being gambled. There is L to be concerned with too. And her high standard of living. And her dog. And his high standard of living. That is why I have convinced L to start turning tricks on the corner.


Here are some recent photos:
This is from Blue Spring.
This was an interesting sidwalk area at Blue Spring .
And the clouds were rent asunder.
Local ice cream shop.
Was that a howl I heard?